Snogging

So, my daughter is "snogging" a boy. If you don't know what "snogging" is, you haven't read or seen Harry Potter--the great educator of all things British. Snogging is kissing. Usually used more to describe make-out sessions, but we enjoy saying "snogging" when we know that Shane has been kissing his girlfriend.

We can now apply the term "snogging" to Brittany. She got her first kiss on Wednesday--in fact, she got two of them, at least. They went on their first date a few weeks ago and he's been over to the house "hanging out" a few times since then.

How do I feel about this? Do I like him or want to kill him? Am I okay with this? Before he kissed her I thought he was a very nice, respectable young man. Now I find myself wondering, "Who is this guy, really?" and wanting to hire a private investigator.

I didn't feel this way about Shane dating and getting HIS first kiss, because of course I am raising the most righteous and upstanding young man who has ever walked the planet, and any girl who has the privilege of dating him should consider herself lucky.

So as Brittany walked in the house Wednesday night, three feet off the ground and face glowing, I knew what had happened. I was really excited for her--I felt giddy and teenagerish again.

He had the nerve to kiss her again yesterday!! Nice boy, my foot. Maybe I should show him my foot.

Seriously though, it is a MUCH different feeling having a daughter start dating/boyfriending than it is with a son. Kind of like I've fed her to a pack of hungry wolves. I'm pretty sure everything's fine. He's got a great sense of humor and treats her with respect. Brittany told me today that he ASKED her if he could kiss her the first time, so maybe he really is the good guy we took him for when we met him. Anyhow, they're hanging out at our house--so we can do PLENTY of interracting! I'm setting up permanent quilt frames so we can all tie humanitarian quilts together and watch reruns of General Conference. Ahhh, I love me a good General Conference session, don't you? I may even pop popcorn.

Mother of an Adult!!

Shane's 18th birthday was on Friday the 19th. I can't believe that I'm now the mother of an adult!

It was a nice day; we started off by giving him his presents in the morning and singing to him. I bought him a desk and chair for his room a few weeks ago, and then the day before his birthday he gave me his "list" of possibilities. Deciding that he probably would prefer the dumbbells on his list, we returned the desk and chair. :) He also got the DVD set of Smallville season 2, a vest (suit-style, a lot of kids are wearing them with jeans a la Jonas Brothers), a book called 101 Creative Dates (he frequently asks for suggestions, saying they've already "done everything" as far as bowling, golf, etc. go), some candy and new earphones for his iPod. My mom gave him some money and a new tie.

We had a family wedding dinner that night at my mother's for my brother Greg and his fiance, Amy, since their wedding was the following day. I brought a cake along so he would get sung to, and after the dinner his girlfriend took him out to The Haunted Forest.

I think it was a nice day for him--being with Amanda was what was most important to him, I think, but I think he was happy with everything. I'm happy with the kind of person he is growing to be (despite my previous gripey posts). He surprised me on Sunday by affectionately kissing me on top of the head when we were in the kitchen (!). How surreal is that?

I have a new sister in law and nephew! Greg and Amy's wedding was beautiful (and very, very rainy). They got married up Little Cottonwood Canyon at Tanner's Flat, which is so pretty. It really poured down rain, especially during the ceremony, which is supposed to be good luck. So I guess we can take that as a good sign! Amy looked beautiful, and Greg's bald head shone. :) The reception was in their backyard in one of those Father of the Bride tents, and they had Famous Dave's Barbecue cater. Kelly was in 7th heaven! He told one of the caterers that it was some of the best barbecue he'd ever had, and he was from Texas. She understood immediately and took that as a huge compliment. LOL They had bubbles on the tables, which the kids loved of course, and Amy's son Jon looked extremely handsome in his tux. Katrina and I told him that he has to listen to our "Auntly advice now."

Kelly's Bucket List

So, I thought it would be fun to list all th suggestions Kelly got for his "Bucket List." I have to say that I am quite proud of my little creative self, because he LOVED the idea of everyone doing that! I think that was his favorite part of the party. Here is what he got:

Nascar driving experience
Climb Mt. Everest
Eat octopus
Sky dive in swim trunks
Eat LIVE octopus
Be the Texas Longhorn mascot for a day (He is an A&M fan; RIVALS)
Cruise to Alaska, ride a camel and swim with the dolphins (Delsa's winning entry)
Hike Mt. Everest (yes, that's twice)
Bungee-jumping from an airplane, detaching from it and parachuting the rest of the way down (that's Brittany's)
Look over the Grand Canyon in the new lookout
Pull shorts up above belly button
See something magnificent
Get sniper training
Become a grandpa
Visit Tahiti
"Rest in Peace"--nice, huh? :)
It's a great day to be above ground (??? maybe they didn't understand what we were doing)
Visit Alaska
Kick a wooden bucket (another Brittany entry)
Swim across Utah Lake (eww), run a marathon, do 100 pullups at one time
Pick up Shane from his mission in South America
Kill a man--a bad man
Go to the temple once a week for a year
Fly a helicopter
Grow marijuana for "medicinal" purposes--"helps with the effects of senility"
All day Star Trek marathon
Drive Route 66
Take Heidi to Europe--esp. England & Holland (THANK YOU MOM!!)

My favorite was the last one. If he does the all day Star Trek thing, I will be nowhere to be found.

The Real Surprise Party

Yesterday we finally pulled off Kelly's REAL surpise party for his 40th birthday. The party with the Young Men this past Wednesday was a "decoy" so he wouldn't suspect I was up to something else. I invited my extended family (Kelly's is sprinkled all over the U.S. and Okinowa) and various friends from our ward; the party was in our backyard. We had a great turnout and Kelly was really surprised! I played up the "old man" theme--one of his cakes had a rocking chair and cane on it, and said "Happy Birthday, Old Timer." On the bottom of his invitations I put "Come comfort the old guy and eat some of his cake." I made a poster of photos from him growing up through his mission, had a guessing game on how well people know him, and had slips of paper for people to write suggestions for his Bucket List. Prizes were Tums and Phillip's Milk of Magnesia. I was going to get Preparation H but decided the milk of magnesia was crude enough.

Brittany was my decoy--she pretended she needed a Dad talk and drive. I got a little worried because when she asked him he was settled into the recliner for some R&R and didn't want to go anywhere, but I needn't have worried--she threw a fake "fit" and then I chimed in with, "If your daughter needs to go for a drive and needs to talk, just take her." This was one case where her ability to blow the roof off the house with her lungs came in handy!

It was tricky getting this to actually happen; originally I wanted it for Wednesday but it wouldn't work because of Young Men's. Orchestrating for yesterday was tricky, too, with the whole Homecoming thing going on--Shane had my van the whole time. Thank goodness for my sister in law Tami who picked up the Costco cake (that is one great deal, btw) and for my mother taking me to Wal-Mart later to pick up the Old Timer cake and the other stuff. I left the paper products at my mother's house so she left the party to get them and my sis Katrina set all that up and made sure there was an ice cream scoop with the ice cream. :) My brain seems to only focus on one thing at a time!

People who came:

My sis Katrina, Nils and kids
My mother
My SIL Tonya and 5 of her kids--Stockton, Hope, Haylee, Harmony and Oakley
My bro Greg, his finance Amy and my soon to be nephew, John
Tony, Cara & Kaylee Kretschmer
Eric & Tamara Ardmore & kids
Tom & Donna Smith
Leonard & Delsa Laxton
Ricky & Nancy Ferrin
Tom & Doris Duffany
Eli & Barbie Clemens & kids
Greg & Miriam Peterson

My brothers Kevin and Fred, Kevin's son KJ (they both belong to Tonya), and Fred's wife Tami and kids Freddie and Nathan came late because they had standards night. They arrived as everyone else was leaving (Tonya had already left with the rest of their kids), and there was just enough cake and ice cream left. I had one lone piece of cake left after that and so Kelly got another piece. :)

Kelly's favorite Bucket List suggestion was from Delsa--cruise to Alaska, ride a camel and something else I can't remember. Brittany's suggeston was that he bungee jump off of a plane, then cut the cord and parachute the rest of the way! She almost won for best one, but he really wants to go to Alaska (with me, of course). There were some fun ones!

Homecoming

Shane went to Homecoming on Saturday and had a great time. His group kind of had "homebase" at our house, which included the guys cooking dinner for the girls. They started off with making muffins for breakfast, picking the girls up and going water skiing for their "day date." Day date?! When did this start? I'm baffled by the whole thing. . .I didn't know about the whole day date thing until he went to Sweetheart Ball this past February. I don't remember day dates back when I was in high school. . .then again I was never asked to a dance so maybe that's why. I always thought it was dinner and then the dance. Now it is a whole-day affair that ends with the dance. I'm amazed that they can last through the whole thing! These guys looked pretty bloodshot by the time they got all the girls dropped off after the dance was over.

Anyway, after waterskiing they took the girls back home to get ready for dinner and the dance, and came back to our house to cook. I got back from Wal-Mart and walked in to see two boys who I didn't know busily stirring multiple pots on the stove and preparing bruschetta on the dining room table. I have to say that I was impressed--they did a very nice dinner. They even bought fresh herbs and real butter (what can I say, I almost always use margarine). They had steak (marinated, even!), pasta with alfredo and marinara sauces, bruschetta (he made me some, and boy was it good), salad, and fudge for dessert.

Brittany and her friend Elizabeth got the table ready for them in the backyard after they got dressed and went to pick the girls up. They did a beautiful job--I told them that they should go into a catering business when they "grow up" and they were pleased with the compliment. They used white sheets for a makeshift tablecloth, put a vase of flowers in the middle and lined the middle the rest of the way down with tea lights. They improvised and put the tea lights in goblets and they effect was really pretty. They also tied all the utensils into the napkins with yarn and put Brittany's stereo outside to play music. The effect was magical--it was dark by the time the couples arrived and Brittany said all the girls were exclaiming about how it looked when they walked back there.

The boys were told by Kelly that they needed to clean up after themselves so I wasn't stuck with the mess, and they planned on it. I decided to take pity on them and did the dishes while they were at the dance--after I watched Coco Chanel on Lifetime. It actually felt good and I didn't mind. I have to say that it was amazing how many dishes they used to cook, though! It was cute seeing them go to all that work, though. They were really nice guys, very respectful to me and I enjoyed getting to know them. I paid Brittany and Elizabeth to finish the last of the dishes and scrub the stovetop for me, and they were happy to earn more money--they were already in money mode because the guys tipped them for serving the food.

It was a fun day for them, and I'm glad I put my bitterness from my last post aside. I could have made it a really crappy, uncomfortable night and I'm glad that I didn't. The guys showed back up at almost 1:00 a.m. to clean up and protested that we had cleaned up for them. They really wanted me to know that they were planning on doing it. They had stopped by Wal-Mart to grab snacks to keep them awake. Mountain Dew and bloodshot eyes! I'm glad I had pity on them.

Teenage Growing Pains

I have to say that I am not loving my job description right now. Having teenagers is HARD!! It is a thankless job with very few perks. Kelly gets recognized at work on a regular basis for his achievements and gets giftcards, nice meals and company "spiffs" thrown his way all the time. Me? I get, "What's for dinner?" occasionally from my son on the days that he actually decides to grace us with his presence at mealtime, and then what I make isn't good enough for him. My kids think I'm horrible for asking for their help with the dishes afteward, and heaven help them if I object to dirty socks scattered around the house! My daughter is adamant that no one is allowed in her room, and the way she keeps it makes it pretty easy to cave. Shane thinks his bedroom extends out into the game room downstairs, and what I intended to be a cozy, welcoming area for relaxation has turned into what looks like a horrible version of a bachelor pad.

I am grateful that I have really good kids, but this letting-go process is really difficult for me. One of the hardest things right now is that I hardly ever see my firstborn, and when I do he is usually really hard to engage in conversation. Kelly assures me that this is normal and healthy, but I think this is for the birds. Shane doesn't communicate with me, he's hardly ever here, and when he is I'm mad at him for him not communicating with me and hardly ever being here. And then I find myself looking forward to him being out of the house, which I know will make me sad because then he definitely won't ever be here!! I do think that by the time his mission rolls around I will be glad to get him on his way. He is definitely wanting to be an adult and independent.

I've decided that what makes it possible for parents to get to the point of being able to let their kids go is the whole teenager phase. I've been pretty shell-shocked with Shane since his sophomore year, and that's with him being really a good guy. The thing that has been so hard for me has been him going from a sweet boy who loves him mommy directly to "get out of my face--I can't stand you, I don't need you." It seemed like it went from one directly to the other and I've been left with my mouth hanging open. The hardest is when I can tell from the way he acts that something is bothering him, but he won't open up to me. He's turned a lot more to Kelly to talk and ask advice from, which I'm grateful for but also kind of jealous and very hurt. I always wanted to foster the kind of relationship with my kids where they would talk to me, and up until recent years with him I thought I was doing okay. Maybe the great secret is that no matter how you parent, your kids are destined to hate you.

Since there is a possibility that Shane and Brittany may read this stuff later at some point, I do have to add that I do love Shane, and that's why it hurts so much. He is a good person with lots of wonderful qualities; there is just a lot of friction right now. I do feel that my relationship with Brittany has gotten much better over the past couple of years. We talk quite a bit and laugh a lot together. I am grateful for that and enjoy those moments a lot. Maybe it's more natural for boys to turn to their fathers as teens, and for girls to turn to their mothers. It was definitely more reversed when they were younger. (Although as babies, they both preferred their daddy. I don't know what's wrong with me!!)

Well, I'm off to get supplies to make a corsage for Shane's Homecoming date. Stupid me for offering.

Happy Birthday to the Old Man!

Yesterday was Kelly's 40th birthday!! It was a busy day, but I think it was a good one for him. We followed our usual tradition of giving the birthday person their presents in the morning. Usually we sing them awake but he was up earlier than everyone else. I was so tired--I've had trouble sleeping for the past week or so and only got about 3 hours that night. He liked his presents--I got him some new dress khakis with a blue button-down shirt and matching tie that he can wear as an alternative to the white shirt and tie (I love blue on him because it really brings out his beautiful blue eyes), and a grey polo-style shirt with stripes. As he picked up the book I got him he thought it was a book Brittany had showed him that's based on the new Star Wars Wii game that is coming out in a few days--I hope he wasn't too disappointed that it was a book by Gerald Lund on personal revelation. His favorite gift was the movie Casino Royale from the kids; he was VERY excited about that.

I wanted to do a surprise party for him, but Young Men's/ Young Women's was last night and he is one of the Young Men advisors. Long story short, I got one of the other advisors to make up a bogus activity since Kelly was supposed to be in charge. He called Kelly and asked if he could do this other activity, and what they really did was come over here to do a service project as a birthday present--clearing out all the debris that's been next to the garage since spring when Kelly pruned the yard (we don't have a truck so haven't had a way to haul it, and Kelly doesn't like asking for help), and I had pizza, cake and ice cream for them and then they played on the Wii. My intention was Wii bowling but most of the boys are into Wii RockStar so they all went home to get their equipment and brought it back. It was pretty cool to see how that works. The other advisor commented on how he used to be in a garage band when he was a teen, and at least they learned something doing it--playing actual instruments. He said technology's even taken that away from the kids--they think they're so good on those guitars but they're not learning how to really play. I think it might be a good way to do drums, though. Brittany has been saying for a few years that she wants to play drums and I told her she can do that when she moves out into her own place. I don't think I could take the noise--Brittany tends to do things obsessively, and if we had real drums I don't think we'd ever get a break from the noise!

Anyway, I think it was a good day. I'm actually doing his REAL surprise party on Sunday--ssssh--and it's going to be glorious. Lots of "old guy" digs. :)

btw, the card I gave him yesterday was hilarious. It had an illustration of two half-full glasses; one said "this glass is half full," the other said, "this glass is half empty," and when you opened it up there was a glass with false teeth in it that said, "this glass is yours." He laughed pretty hard.

My Farmboy, a Scooter Ride and Our Funny Garden

So, I had a ridiculous morning today that reminded me just how sweet and wonderful my husband is. Since early in our relationship, the movie "Princess Bride" has figured in there. We served in the same mission and for one of our multizone activities our mission president gave the okay for the zonies to show it at one of the church cultural halls for an activity. Ever since then, Kelly has frequently used the line "As you wish" when he does something for me. It's very sweet.

What happened today was that I had a dr. appointment; as I opened the back door to leave the alarm went off and I remembered that I had reset it after Kelly and the kids left this morning. I didn't sleep well so went back to bed for a couple of hours. I had to run to the keypad to deactivate it, then rushed out the door to the van so I wouldn't be late, only to realize that I had left the keys in the house. My neighbor wasn't home so I walked to the gas station to call and let the dr.'s office know I wasn't just not showing up, then called Kelly to see if he could drive home on his lunch and let me back in the house. I waited for him at Wendy's and he cheerfully drove up on his scooter and had lunch with me. He asked if I wanted him to drive home and get the van for me or ride the scooter, and I opted for the scooter ride. It had started to sprinkle but I rode anyway. It was so much fun! Every time he started the scooter back up after waiting to turn I screamed because I felt like I was going to slide backward and land on my butt on the road. He thought that was pretty funny.

When we got home he had to crawl through one of our windows because Brittany forgot to return his housekey yesterday, which she has because she lost her key. If anyone ever doubted I was her mother, that similarity alone would be confirmation! I'm sure her keys will show up in some obvious place that's been right under her nose all along because that's what happens to me every time.

After Kelly was done saving me and he started back to work I thanked him for being so sweet and he said, "As you wish." My own sweet Farmboy.

While he was getting in the house I went in the backyard to look at our garden. It really is the funniest thing you've ever seen. It's our first real attempt at growing a garden. The cucumbers and radishes never came up, and the yellow squash plants grew but we got no squash from them. Out of the 12 tomato plants we put in, only 8 or 9 survived and of those only three are producing tomatoes. We've eaten six and they didn't grow as big as they should have. We have a little corn patch that is hilarious--we planted four rows of about ten, and we have these random stalks where one row has several in a row, then the next one has like two on either end; you get the picture. And apparently we planted late because they're about half as tall as everyone else who did corn. When I went back there today there was a flock of quail gathered on the ground where the corn was, ready to harvest it for us.

But then there is the zucchini. Brittany and I are the only ones who like zucchini, but even if no one liked it I would have planted some because I've heard over the years that people always end up with too much zucchini, just off of a couple of plants. So we planted about EIGHT zucchini plants, just so we could feel successful. We have a lot of blossoms and just a few days ago Kelly brought in some real zucchinis! But they are the funniest looking things--one is curved all the way into a tight U-shape and most of them are shaped really funny. They aren't nice and straight like the ones you get at the store, except for a few of them.

I guess we should do some Gardening for Dummies research so we have better success next year. I wanted to can tomatoes and what we got won't even fill up a jar!

Incidentally, the garden was something I wanted, so Kelly put it in. And Kelly has done the weeding and most of the watering. It's another of those "As You Wish" things. It makes me feel like a lucky princess. And kind of like a spoiled brat.

Blogger Inspirations

After reading my sister's blog a few times and following her links to one of my cousins, I've decided that since I don't do a good job keeping up with people and my journal has too many "It's been so long since I've written" entries (and I can't even find it, thank you very much!), I want to be cool and have a blog, too. So be it known to whomever may come across my humble writings that I, too, have entered bloggerspace. I'm so proud! I signed in by myself and EVERYTHING. Hmmm, now I need to figure out how everything else works. . .this usually culminates in me calling "Kelly, how do I do this??!" and trying not to yell at him because I can't figure it out. I'm an iVillage regular, so maybe this won't be too hard for this almost 42-year old. *groan*