Me with a Magic Wand

What would I do if I had a magic wand? Well, first my house would ALWAYS be clean. I would have self-folding and put-away laundry. The dishes would do themselves every night (I've been doing pretty good on that one for quite awhile but last night's are still staring at me and I can't deal with them). The Halloween and Thanksgiving decorations would switch themselves and the boxes would go back to the garage on their own. Remember that scene in Disney's The Sword in the Stone where Merlin waves his wand and the dishes all do themselves? Mine would be even better because they would just be magically done--no process, just done. The vacuum cleaner would turn on whenever needed and just take care of business.

My son would flush the toilet after he uses it, there would be no smudges on the bathroom mirror, and everyone would take care of the towels after they shower. There would be no shaving cream residue left in the sink.

My daughter's shoe piles would disappear, because she would put them away before getting to a 5-pair pileup. ON HER OWN.

I would never have to put gas in the van or buy toilet paper. They would just be there!

My checkbook would balance itself. No forgotten entries!

I would get a paycheck every week for my job as wife and mother. I would have benefits, too. . .my benefits would include hair appointments every 8 weeks, paid for, a weekly massage, a new pair of frivolous shoes every month and a professional organizer on hand whenever I need her. She would rescue me constantly.

Each of my fingers and thumbs would grow 1/2" longer, so I could play piano pieces with huge chords easier. It's really obvious that a lot of male composers have huge hands and must just think everyone else does, too. One day my grandma was looking at my short, stubby fingers and said, "Oh, you got Bernie's (her sister's) hands!" like that was the most wonderful thing. I said, "Oh, she's the culprit, huh?!" Turns out I got her stupid feet, too.

As it happens, the only magic wand I have is my cursor. I feel very cool because I changed it on Cursor Mania! It makes me feel powerful.

Hmmm. . .maybe Jared is a magic wand. He made Brittany get her homework done yesterday after school. It was like magic.